I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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