i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
