You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
