Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
