i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
