Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
