How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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