She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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