dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
