I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
