I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
