P.S. I can't hear my feet
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
