WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize