Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
