the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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