she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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