I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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