hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
