He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
