made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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