just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
