The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
