Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
