last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
