people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
