Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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