Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
