Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
4 words: hood of his car
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you win again, gameday.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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