somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Randomize
