True but thats because hes a fetus.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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