i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
