would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Randomize
