I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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