This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
