Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
nutella sex= disaster
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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