I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
