A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
