Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
