we made out on top of his cat.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm too high and old for this...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
