he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
