You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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