her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
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