Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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