sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
