I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
