3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize