she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
