If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
