i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
