I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
tell me about the eggs
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