It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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