I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
