I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
last night I used snow as a chaser
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