I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
And then my night got REAL pukey
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
