mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
