That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
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