Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Can I color on your dick again?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
