This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
