i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
