I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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