He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
