There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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