I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
