man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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